Photo Credit: I'd love to credit someone for this photo but I can't find its origins
In creating this newsletter I have written about what you’ll get (Knowledge, Power, Inspiration) and who it’s for (YOU, if you want to be BOLDER in your Confidence, Creativity and impact) ….. I have yet to write about what BOLDER living is to me and what exactly I mean by BOLDER.
Inspired, towards the end of a SLOW, blimey this is hard! and ultimately enjoyable, jog the other day, it pinged in my mind exactly who my next BOLDER shout out would be for.
And this inspiration lies in the roots of what BOLDER is about for me and how this has evolved into the work I do and the learning community that I love so!
(Not) Fading to Grey…..
A couple of years ago, as I was approaching my mid 40’s, I first started writing about my desire to be bolder, to not fade out to grey, to become more vibrant and daring.
Of course the Patriarchy wants us to shuffle off quietly into the corner. With a knowing exchange and a mutter of “she’s going through the C H A N G E”
Perhaps, that’s why the menopause has always been shrouded in such shame and embarrassment and a hefty dose of “youth is beauty”….. yes, I am of the era “Oil of Ulay, twice a day”…. For that youthful glow.
That’s not for me! Finally, in my forties, I am confident, I like who I am, I know what I stand for. I am not about to give that up now. Now is the time to turn UP the dial!
I want to amplify the aliveness I feel. I want to get more vibrant and I want to be BOLDER!
It seems fairly obvious, once you are clear on who you really are and what matters most then it’s much easier to speak your truth and speak up for what you stand for.
Easier said than done! It takes courage to speak up and speak out.
One part of being BOLDER is definitely about getting clear on who you are. A very large part of it is also about setting yourself free from what’s holding you back.
In my case, a very nice People Pleasing saboteur was holding me back.
Ultimately, it took the realisation that the People Pleaser is a liar (to themselves and others) telling people what you think they want to hear will win you NO awards!
I have a very big value around truth, so the face slap of the People Pleaser being a liar was the jolt I needed.
The other jolt was that to be in service of my wonderful clients I needed to speak truly about what I noticed is holding them back. I need to ask powerful questions in service of them moving through their discomfort, to live life’s they deserve to live.
Speaking truly does not mean it has to be a shouty “I DISAGREE!” unless the mood takes you!
When your truth comes from a place of resonance it comes with a lightness, freeness and not with the need to defend or justify.
Once you’ve got the truth bit covered the living freely is much easier. And, here we get to the very essence of what BOLDER is about for me; Unapologetically You!
For sure, I have voices of doubt. I know my saboteurs, their names, their triggers.
And, I know that living in a way that doesn’t feel right to me is awful! I tried it for, well, most of my life!
Especially in my twenties and thirties. During that time my main focus was on SUCCESS and it looked like a job title, lots of money and ridiculously priced handbags, lots of fabulous travel, darling!
Cue, my second dominant Saboteur, The Hyper Achiever. Her whole identity is tied up in her achievements, busy, busy, busy and soooooooo productive. Driven by fear of failure. She is a task master and exhausting!
I am thrilled that she is no longer running the show! Sometimes she trips me up. Because sometimes it’s easier to be busy and achieving than to deal with some painful stuff going on around you…. Global Pandemic anyone?!
I need to be patient with myself. Sometimes I have no enthusiasm for writing, creating, posting stuff on social media.
Especially when the dissonance of the saboteurs is in play.
I trust that when I find the joy and show up from there, when I follow my enthusiasm what I put out there is so much more powerful.
When I am aligned with my values and what matters most, I feel alive. I am Unapologetically Me!
BOLDER isn’t BIGGER!
Being bolder is not about world domination or your action needing to change the world!
It is bold to experiment and to allow yourself to try new things, unattached with the outcomes being perfect.
Bolder is knowing what you stand for, living by it and speaking out for it , when necessary.
It is bold to go into the unknown, along with curiosity and questions about what you’re learning from the perspectives of the new.
Action is the key. Because its BOLD action that gives you the answer about what the right path is for YOU.
BOLD action can also be a process of elimination. Sometimes experiment’s tell you “No, not that” Keep on being BOLDER with experimentation it will lead you to what does feel right.
“She’s as Bold as Brass”
I imagine the first time I heard this was from a formidable Northern Matriarch on something like Last of the Summer Wine!
The essence of this phrase is rooted in someone being overly confident and disrespectful to social conventions.
It’s really designed to keep us, Women, in our place!
For, how very dare we be confident and outspoken in the first place!
“Don’t get too big for your boots, madam” Hands up, if your Mum has ever said that to you….🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
For, have you ever heard this phrase uttered to a boy or man? “Don’t get too big for your boots, sir”….. no, just not said!
Two things going on here. Firstly the oppression of Women. Secondly that there are social conventions or places we need to be kept in!
We are not Subjects!
And, if you’re in a place, constrained by hierarchy where you dare not speak truly for fear of reprimand, then maybe it’s time that you set yourself free!
All of this talk of Bold as Brass, makes me want to rebel and be even BOLDER!
I much prefer a take on the meaning of Bold as Brass owing to Brass Crosby, Lord Mayor of London, in the 1700’s, he defied the House of Parliament by supporting the printing of a pamphlet about the proceedings of Parliament.
What’s worse; dreaming and trying or dreaming and denying?!
It’s Bolder to believe in yourself and that you deserve to have a fulfilling life.
Knowing what you want and denying yourself, either that you deserve it or to reach for it, will lead to all sorts of misery and bitterness….. and possibly to utter phrases about other Women “oh her, she’s Bold as Brass, who does she think she is?!”
And that’s not you, is it?
Inspiring the next generation….
BOLDER is an attitude. Inspiration from those younger and older than us is everywhere.
I love it when I read or watch stories of people defying all expectations to do something wonderful. It inspires me to see what we humans are truly capable of when we believe that there’s a better way. A better life to be lived in our communities.
Because, we’re not Subjects. We’re even beyond being Consumers. We are Citizens and we want to play our part in shaping how we live.
If you need more evidence of this. Read this wonderful report CITIZEN SHIFT
My BOLDER Mission
Imagine a world filled with BOLDER citizens, building better communities, societies… a world! Where we are not gaslighted into believing that this world of consumption is the only way or exhausted into no longer challenging corruption.
In my work, both one to one and in groups, I help you to connect with your brilliance, to really accept your strengths, to set yourself free from what’s holding you back from taking action and making positive change.
It’s a transformational process that really liberates you to go off and do the most amazing things.