Updated: Feb 11
Everyone Deserves to See and Reach their Potential
2020 was a year of great awakening for many of us, a wakeup call to make the most of life.
Not in a FOMO way, because that constant busy has been destructive for us human’s in our mass consumption in the 20th century, greatly accelerated thus far in the 21st century.
Efficient and busy, has kept us distracted and disconnected for too long. It's stopped us from noticing and connecting with what matters most, often because what matters most is fair treatment of all humans and to not destroy this beautiful planet, to the point that it destroys human existence.
In my experience, from the patterns I see in many new clients coming my way, the wakeup call has come to many people who instinctively feel they’re living a life “that doesn’t feel right”
If the following feelings or thoughts are familiar to you, read on, some powerful questions are coming your way to help you make sense of it!
“I feel completely lost”
It’s unsettling to feel lost or stuck, unable to move forwards in a way that brings you joy. Especially when, for many of us, we’re successful “on paper”
For most of us, we set off on a path in our 20’s or 30’s that sounds logical, sensible and especially for those of us who were led to believe that success will bring you happiness, it was a fail-safe plan.
You work hard, put in the hours, get the results, get all the trappings (and they are trappings) the car, the holidays, the fancy job title, the status, the house, the garden, the holidays, if we play it right, the partner, and if we want it and it works out, a family.
You still feel unfulfilled, it doesn’t bring a sense of aliveness or possibilities that enthuse.
Naturally, you question yourself. What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel stressed and miserable? I should be happy, I followed the plan, this is what success is. Or is it?
Sure, no one lives a skippy, deliriously happy life 24/7. That’s not what fulfilment is.
Fulfilment can be challenging. Fulfilment can be hard work. And it makes you feel alive because you’re living a life that is aligned to what matters most to you… your values.
What do you want to be different?
Here are 5 powerful questions that deserve your attention, because YOU deserve to reach your potential.
When is the right time to start?
In his bestselling book about Transitions, making sense of life’s changes, William Bridges wrote
New beginnings are accessible to everyone, and everyone has trouble with them. Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step towards disaster.
A Forced Change
More than likely, for many of us, change is forced upon us and as devastating as it can be, when we have to stop and start again, it can be the making of us. Forcing us to find an inner strength and resolve we didn’t imagine possible for us
The great people point the way for us, but in the name of being role models for the rest of us, they often cover up evidence of their confusion. When Eleanor Roosevelt looked back on her own painful life transition at thirty-five, she wrote, “Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life….”
What she did not say was that her discovery came only after a terrible time of disenchantment and disorientation that almost killed her. She had discovered that her husband was having an affair with one of her most trusted friends.
It was out of this shattered dream that she emerged, struggling against her own shyness and self-doubt to become the important figure in her own right.
The Guard is also the prisoner
I read this quote, also in William Bridges book (I’ve been hanging out with him a LOT! As I’ve been exploring and writing about endings and beginnings)
I was struck by this quote on two levels, firstly for how true it is for you when your inner critics; the Saboteurs (the Guard) is holding you (the prisoner) back from making the changes you’re longing for.
The Guard is trying to protect you, from perceived danger of revealing too much, failure or humiliation. This imprisonment is that horrible lost, stuck, unsettled feeling that you’re playing it safe, paralysing you from taking the action that will get you towards your potential.
The second level that struck me was of how the guard had lived in me for, well my whole life, doing all I could to “fit” was exhausting and I was imprisoned in this performance for so long.
When I eventually let my guard down, dared to explore, dared to understand, well, all I will tell you, for now, is I have set myself free to be BOLDER and its truly wonderful!
That’s not to say that I don’t still have my battles with my saboteurs, I have them all the time. I sabotaged a whole, glorious day I had planned to write… buggered up my morning, picked unnecessary fights.
And I called it out for what it was, forgave myself and moved on! I know the drill, I see the patterns!
If you want to learn more about how your inner critics, Saboteurs, shitty committee, lives in you I highly recommend exploring this 9 Ways We Self Sabotage
Going retro on the acronym’s You Only Live Once “YOLO” circa 2017!
EVERYONE deserves to see and realise their potential.
As quoted by F.Scott Fitzgerald, It’s never too late to become who you want to be.
And who you want to become is not a destination!
I am not the same person I was when I was 20, and hallelujah for that!
Wherever you are with endings or beginnings, enjoy the learning and celebrate your progress as you go.