What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from
T. S Eliot
Good Riddance 2020?!
How many times have you seen that or the essence of that written in the last month?!
As we all know, it’s been the toughest of years and today I’m asking you to make time for honouring the ending of 2020, to acknowledge yourself for what’s helped you through this year.
The benefit of giving ending space
In his book Transitions, William Bridges writes;
“Considering that we have to deal with endings all our lives, most of us handle them poorly. We either take them too seriously by confusing them with finality, forgetting that they are the first phase of the transition process and a precondition to self-renewal …. Or we fail to take them seriously enough. Because they scare us, we try to avoid them”
“The new growth cannot take root on ground still covered with the old habits, attitudes and outlooks because endings are the clearing process.”
In short, out with the old in with the new! Goodbyes and endings help to create more space for new phases.
If you let go a little
You will have a little happiness
If you let go a lot
You will have a lot of happiness
If you let go completely
You will be free
In our penultimate module of the BOLDER Learning Programme Claiming it! which is all about accepting yourself, your brilliance and your possibilities, we first make space for letting go.
In the session I do a guided visualisation to help participants imagine letting go of a story they are carrying around, that is weighing them down or holding them back.
I was first introduced to Jack Kornfield, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace by Elaine Kingett on her Write it Down! retreat in a very beautiful part of Spain… If I close my eyes, I can hear her voice now, around the pool on still and peaceful mornings, where she held space for meditation “May you be held in compassion, May you be free from pain and sorrow, May you be at peace”
Before we move onto making space for your endings, ponder these wise words from the renowned Buddist teacher, Jack Kornfield (The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace)
And ask yourself, what is it time for you to let go of?
One of the essential tasks for living a wise life is letting go. Letting go is the path to freedom. It is only by letting go of the hopes, the fears, the pain, the past, the stories that have a hold on us that we can quiet our mind and open our heart.
We do not need to fear letting go. We can trust the courage and vulnerability of our heart to meet life as it is; we can rest kindly where we are.
As we let go, the tender ground of honesty, healing and love will carry us through the ever changing world.
Letting go does not mean losing the knowledge we have gained from the past, that will stay with us.
To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clinging’s and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.
Letting go begins with letting be.
When we learn to let things be, they gradually lose their power; they cease to disturb us.
When we let go, we return to an honest and simple openness.
A Powerful Ritual for your Endings
When Coaching comes to a natural end with a client we have an entire session dedicated to endings; Completion.
When you take time to acknowledge yourself, the situation and others you are taking the time to say “I see you” I notice what, who, how.
It’s a different way to define success. It’s not about ticking off the achievements or the milestones, as important as they are. It’s a powerful way to notice the pain as well as the gratitude, this is an important way to remain active in hope, resilient in the toughest of times.
It’s empowering for you to celebrate who you are and what you’ve achieved. A crucial part of BOLDER living is to be unapologetically you and celebrating you is a big part of that. The celebration can take any form! It doesn’t have to be big and showy if that’s not your thing. In order to create choices of what you take with you into your beginnings, space needs to be given to the joy of your growth!
It’s a lifelong thing, not a destination! So make time to notice your progress “I know now…” Take time to notice your strengths, skills, experience and wisdom. Write them down, I have no doubt you’ll be astounded by your own progress and it will propel you to make the next leap!
BOLDER Ending to 2020
I invite you now to spend time asking yourself the following powerful questions and journaling it.
If rituals are your thing, write the things you choose to leave behind on a separate piece of paper and create a ritual to set them free… burn it, give it to the sea, bury it under a tree!